Blake Shelton’s Twitter – Part 1

Standard

Fact: Blake Shelton has won the CMA “Male Vocalist of the Year” the past two years.

Fact: He won an American Music Award for “Favorite Male Artist” in country music.

Fact: He is nominated for a 2012 MTV Award for “Must Follow Artist on Twitter”

Opinion: I don’t know why.  His Twitter feed is a constant stream of inappropriate statements that should make country music fans cringe.

Let’s review.

This is Blake Shelton’s attempt at promotion…

By the way if you love the outdoors you gotta follow @MattMorrett…. If you don’t you suck camel balls.

His take on the CMA and AMA award shows…

If y’all are watching the CMAs tonight I’ll be the loud drunk guy on the front row cheering for Carrie Underwoods legs..

For those you wondering.. Yes, “Footloose” was completely screwed up… Son of a bitch!!!!!!! Ha! Ha! Oh well..

Holyshitballs!!! I just found out I won an American Music Award lastnight! I only stayed awake long enough to watch Adam and Christina.. Ha!

Anyway thank y’all for voting your asses off for me!!! I promise next time yall are up for an AMA I’m gonna vote everyday for you!!! Swear!!

I kinda feel bad winning though.. I’m not American… I’m country bitch!!!

How he responds to criticism…

@snwbrdgoddess: such a jerk u sing that cheesy ass Honey Bee song that makes me vomit on myself.” You mean that 1 that makes me rich? er?..

@phrodidaddy: Who’s writin this shit? Whoa there. I guess u “hired some people”.” Yeah. I hired some people while I’m banging your mom…

@changley25: u should definitely go back to the curly mullet #badass” You should go back to thumbing your ass….

His daily thoughts:

And boobs..

#nowplaying with myself..

It just dawned on me that I’m always wishing for big ones… Hits, deer, boobs, drinks, me…..

I’m so hungover right now I just busted out my own porch light and yelled to the paper boy “Ha! Ha! Now who looks stupid, bitch!!!”

Just had a meeting with The Voice executives… Drunk.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!!!! It’s my favorite holiday… Mostly cause I don’t do shit!!!

Shit!!!!!!!!

Just watched a giant walk away cause my fahking 270 wouldn’t fire!!!! Fahk!!! I haven’t been this mad since “The Fall Guy” got canceled!!!!

I’m so drunk right now I just walked into Denny’s and shouted “Make me some pot brownies and I won’t bitch about the non-smoking area!!”

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